Posted by Kristine McKay in 
The last couple of days have been very difficult. My little Yorkie got hit by a car yesterday and was killed instantly. My heart is broken and I haven’t been able to eat or sleep. NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever feel like this about a pet. I’ve never really been an animal lover and he is the first pet I’ve owned. I’ve had friends in the past who have lost pets and while I was sad for them I completely underestimated the hurt. I decided to get him when I realized that all of my kids were all to big to snuggle and I just missed that extra body in the house when the kids were off at school. There were days in the beginning I would have gladly given him away . . . like the time he chewed up my favorite pair of sandals, or when he chewed through a bottle of paint and got it all over my formal living room, the time he chewed through my $100 laptop cord and nearly electrocuted himself and me, oh and the time he pooped on my leather seats in my car on the way home from the vet lol. I could go on and on. But I grew to love him and even more than that he just became a part of our family. When I received the news I was in complete shock and bawled my eyes out. Yet, I kept questioning why I felt so empty and sick. I guess I’d never experienced that kind of pain before. I kept feeling myself say, “it was just a dumb dog”. Yet, every time the the doorbell rings and it is followed with silence rather than obnoxious yelping,or when I drop a piece of food and it isn’t immediately devoured, I feel myself crumble. I am now realizing how much of a part of my life he had become. He brought so many smiles to my day. I could always count on him to wet himself with excitement when I walked in the door lol, or lick my face when I least expected it (okay I can do without that one lol). It’s not just his cute little furry self I am going to miss, but I am going to miss the dozens of smiles he gave me throughout the day. I know it will get easier as days go on, but for the next few weeks I know that I will notice even the small voids that his absence brings that I didn’t even consciously know he filled. My heart breaks for my kids. Especially my daughter who is one tough cookie. This has been so hard on her. They had a very special relationship. Kelsey and I constantly fought over whether I was his mommy or his grandma. The week before he died he was acting very strangely. We all commented on it and wondered if he was getting sick. He would follow us around and put his paws on our legs to be picked up. He constantly wanted to be held and to be affectionate (normally his personality was crazy and totally ADD). We all had noticed how loving he was being. I am so grateful for this time that we had to give him extra love. I think it was God’s little gift to let us say goodbye. I am so grateful for the many smiles he’s given me and the warm little body I had to sleep next too. I will miss him. But this will also teach me to be grateful for my children and loved ones. I do not want to wait until they are gone to appreciate and value the voids they fill in my life. I want to count the smiles each and every day and be thankful while they are still here to hold.
I’m so sorry Kristine….I completely understand! Pets have a way of wheasling their little bodies into our hearts and they don’t talk back…they just give back. You are totally entitled to hurt…to others he may be just a dog, but to you, you have lost a part of your family. I’m glad you have lot’s of memories! It will be a grieving process for your kids so just know that it will take some time. I’m here if you need to talk!
My heart just broke when I read your blog. It was like you just read my heart about my feelings for my 2 yorkies. I know it is devestating when we loose a member of the family. (they are members whether dogs or people.) I feel that your dog knew that his life on this earth was getting short. I know sometimes people feel that way also when their time is getting near and I believe that we will have our pets with us up in heaven also. Thank you so much for your heartfelt insight and I will cherish my kids and my dogs more for your post. One day at a time.
I am so sorry for your loss! It is indeed a loss and reading your post brought me back to when our first dog as a couple died. We had her before we had our kids. I had always had a love/hate relationship with her. I was the most devastated when she died. I felt like it hit me the hardest; I was home with her all day {being a SAHM at the time}and I guess we were closer than I really thought.
I’m so sorry Kristine. Just know that the rest of us dog lovers know your pain. It does feel like losing a family member. He was so darn cute. I’m sorry for your loss. You will miss him everyday for quite some time.
I’m so sorry Kristine.
I have 2 aging cats and 1 old dog and I don’t look forward to what’s ahead one bit. The void will be tremendous.
What a great idea to use the loss as a heads up to celebrate those around us still living. Kudos! Perhaps that’s one of the reasons for this one, you sharing it.
Donna
http://www.funkyjunkinteriors.blogspot.com/
Kristine, You and your family have been in my thoughts as I know what it is like to lose something so precious. You will have good days and bad days but, most of all you will have those beautiful memories you wrote so much about in this blog post. I think that maybe a good way to help with the healing is to dedicate a decorating session to animal lover’s projects. Maybe a memorial craft project for those who have also lost a pet, decorative treat jars etc. Turn your loss into something constructive yet heartwarming to remember lil Jaxson.
Kristine, I am so sorry to hear about your little Jaxson…..thinking about you during this tough time…..it is so hard to lose a loved pet – they bring so much joy and unconditional love into our lives. He will always hold a special place in your heart and nothing can change that. Time heals most (I never say all) wounds and soon you will be able to remember the good times with him and be able to smile. Take care
I am so sorry you and your family are going through this very emotional time. I have also lost a very loved dog and I understand the pain. I’ll be thinking of you.
Sherry
Oh man. I am sorry to hear about Jaxson, I hope that you and your family find peace.
Sincerly,
C
Oh I am so sorry for you and your family. We just lost our min pin three weeks ago and it about killed us,but today I got two new dogs from a lady in town who was going to put them down. It has helped the void alot.
God Bless You and Your Family.
Love,Debbie
I feel your pain Kristine. We lost our little Peekapoo last year. He was our first child in our family. Now we have a yorkie and love him so. It took some time to decide to get another dog in our home but we came to realize that we need to have a dog to complete our family. Time will heal your families heart!
Kristin,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost several over the years, and it never gets any easier, but it becomes tolerable. They are our family and would lay their lives down for us. It takes time. If I were an actress and needed to cry, I would remember the day that I lost a pet and I could cry a river, actually I am crying right now writing this.
I like the idea of making a craft project dedicated to Jaxson. You give so much to all of us and we too love animals, it would be nice to have something to memorialize them.
I am so sorry to hear about your pet. It is hard to lose one. They are truly part of our family and our heart.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Hugs,
Tammy
I am so sorry for your loss. I have my little Chica and I don’t know what I would do without her. God Bless You and I will keep y’all in my prayers.
Kathi
So sorry to hear about you loss…I know they become part of the family and it very hard wehen we lose them. You have my sympathy as you grieve your loss…
i always tell people who loose a loved one to think about them everyday and they will stay with you.
i bet it works with doggies too.
my thoughts are with your familiy.
Kristine,
I am so sorry to hear about Jaxon. You are in my prayers along with the rest of your family. It is hard to lose a family pet. Our dog was also run over and killed so I know how painful and devastating that can be. It is good to be reminded to not take loved ones for granted… blessings to you!
I am so sorry! I know how you feel, but maybe not to the same extent.
We found a stray cat that stayed with us for one night and then we had to give him to a shelter because we weren’t allowed to have pets. I sobbed when my husband took him out to the shelter lady’s car.
I hope the hurting goes away soon!
I grieve with thee….. After having to put my last ‘fuzzy kid’ down (he had cancer) there was such a hole in my heart and home. I still miss him, but look forward to seeing him again in heaven-because there could not be a place without that pure love a dog gives.
Kristine I am so very sorry for your loss…Like everyone else is saying…animals do become family….I have 2 kitties that I treat like they are my babies…heck, they ARE my abies! My heart goes out to you hunny…
I am so sorry to hear about Jaxon. I also had one of those pets, but love them or hate them, they are the one’s you miss the most when they are gone – I think it has to do with their refusal to allow you to do anything but love them! Keep the memories close to your hearts and I am sure they will help you and your family through this grieving process.
God be with you
I am sooooo sorry! I know how you feel! We lost our dog in July and I didn’t know how much I would miss her until she was gone. We now have a new love even though she will never take the place of the one we lost, we love her and she is now a part of the family. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,
Julie
I am so sorry for you loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care.
I am so sorry about your cute little dog. Sad, sad.
About a year ago I suddenly lost my dad. He and my mom were here for a short visit and one morning he didn’t feel well. I took him to the hospital, where he went into unconsciousness and was on life support. During this same time, our 15 year old vizsla became very sick. When we came home from the hospital without my dad, it was as if she knew what had happened to him. She became more and more ‘lost’. We had to put her down a week later because she wouldn’t eat or drink and wouldn’t move at all. It was very sad to loose both at the same time. My son found a stray cat and we took it in- (crazy I know…) but after nursing this wild thing, she has become a perfect part of our home. We needed each other and she is the most loving cat I have ever had. We call her the grateful cat, or 2nd chance cat. I feel for your loss- and know that time can be a healer- love the suggestion about doing a memory craft for your dog. Hang in there- you have lots of support out there.
Kristine,
I am so sorry. I too have never been a loving pet owner until I got my dog. (Scottie, the Scottish Terrior) I can totally relate. I got him after I realized I too would not have any more children. He filled that void for me as well. Everything you said I can relate to. How much we love them and how much they drive us crazy! My little Scottie, just had his ear bit off by another dog. What a horrible thing. I do believe that we will have them with us again in the next life.
I truly am sorry for your loss and can feel your sorrow. My prayers will be with you.
=0)
I am so sorry about your Jaxson. My heart goes out to you. Your memories will help to ease your pain, and only time will ease your aching.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I was the same way. I didn’t know how much I loved my dog until I found myself wandering the streets w/ my 4 year old on her scooter looking for my doggy. And should I mention I was crying all the while. I did find her that day, thank goodness. It felt like I was missing a child. So I do know how heart wrenching and stomache turning it feels.
Thank you soooo much for the sweet thoughts. it’s been rough but we are doing better.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Our pets become our best friends, companions and our babies that we can spoil and love. We had to put down my Sheltie in December just before her 14th birthday. I was inconsolable. Then after Christmas I just couldn’t stand the empty house and went to the city animal shelter and found a precious new “baby”. I still mourn my Skye once in a while, but Sheba makes my heart smile again. I hope you find a new baby to help your heart heal.
Hi,
This is my first time on your blog. I just had to write you because my heart sank when you wrote your cute doggy died. I have a Yorkie also. The picture of your dog is just too cute. I am so sorry this happened. In time you will start to feel better and may even have room in your heart for another
cutie pie, even though that might not seem possible now. I have owned many dogs and have lost them as well. All of them have a place in my heart forever.
BTW, you have a beautiful blog.
Hugs,
Carey
Oh, I am so sorry. I do know how you feel. My husband and I got a black lab the first year we were married and when he got sick, my husband called my from the vets to say “come quick!” I said to myself “Just try to show some kind of emotion while I am there for this dog, to show my husband that I love him.” Well I shocked myself because we did have to end up putting him down and I was the one that held that sweet dog while he passed from this life to the next and it was me that my husband had to carry off of the floor in a crying, sniffling, sobbing mess. I miss our BABY Winston. They never leave your heart and If he is not there to greet me in Heaven someday then I am not going!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Kristine,
I was blog hopping today and I came across your blog (which I *LOVE* by the way)!!
I wanted to extend my sympathies to you about your dear sweet “Jaxson”. I too have *NEVER* endured anything more painful then loosing a pet so I too know exactly what you are going through.
I different then you, have *ALWAYS* had pets and actually have three rescued dogs that own me right now ; }
When you are ready I hope you will consider rescuing a dog. “Jaxson” would want that as I’m quite sure you are the *BEST* mom ever!!! Please know that if you and the family want another yorkie there are TONS in rescue.
Many have mentioned that with time your pain will ease and this is true but “Jaxson” will live in your heart forever.
My deepest condolences, with heartfelt sympathy,
Namaste’ my friend,
Denita
So very sorry. I hope your loss is decreasing with time. Jaxson will always be with you in your heart. I’ve loss a pet and it’s really is a deep surprising pain. However there are many loving pets just waiting for a mom like you. Give it time and then go looking for the right dog for you.
The last addition to are family is Henry, he is a long hair Havanese. We are his third owners and he was only 11 months old when he came to live with us. I can’t believe no one really wanted this precious little guy!! I believe he was born to be with me!!! He is wonderful and I wouldn’t give him up for anything.
So when the time is right for you look into adopting a new little love. Your life will be filled with love and turned upside again. But it’s all worth it!!
I am so sorry for the loss of your little honey! We have a little Maltese that is the love of our life. I can’t imagine the heartache of having your little one taken so unexpectedly. You and your children and in my thoughts and prayers.
Jane
it is never easy to lose a pet, it really is like losing a family member. {lots of love & hugs}
You are an amazing woman and you will bounce back from this! Having said that, give yourself awhile to greive. Pets have such unconditional love and that is why it is so hard when they are gone. But think of the happy reunion some day!
Keep smiling!
Cheri
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear of this. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
So sorry sweets .. {{hugs}}
I’m new to your blog and this made me cry ,they are a part of our hearts forever even when they leave