The last couple of days have been very difficult.  My little Yorkie got hit by a car yesterday and was killed instantly.  My heart is broken and I haven’t been able to eat or sleep.  NEVER in my wildest dreams did I  think I would ever feel like this about a pet.  I’ve never really been an animal lover and he is the first pet I’ve owned.  I’ve had friends in the past who have lost pets and while I was sad for them I completely underestimated the hurt. I decided to get him when I realized that all of my  kids were all to big to snuggle and I just missed that extra body in the house when the kids were off at school.  There were days in the beginning I would have gladly given him away . . . like the time he chewed up my favorite pair of sandals, or when he chewed through a bottle of paint and got it all over my formal living room, the time he chewed through my $100 laptop cord and nearly electrocuted himself and me, oh and the time he pooped on my leather seats in my car on the way home from the vet lol.  I could go on and on.  But I grew to love him and even more than that he just became a part of our family.  When I received the news I was in complete shock and bawled my eyes out. Yet, I kept questioning why I felt so empty and sick.  I guess I’d never experienced that kind of pain before.  I kept feeling myself say, “it was just a dumb dog”.  Yet, every time the the doorbell rings and it is followed with silence rather than obnoxious yelping,or when I drop a piece of food and it isn’t immediately devoured, I feel myself crumble.  I am now realizing how much of a part of my life he had become.  He brought so many smiles to my day.  I could always count on him to wet himself with excitement when I walked in the door lol, or lick my face when I least expected it (okay I can do without that one lol).  It’s not just his cute little furry self I am going to miss, but I am going to miss the dozens of smiles he gave me throughout the day.  I know it will get easier as days go on, but for the next few weeks I know that I will notice even the small voids that his absence brings that I didn’t even consciously know he filled.  My heart breaks for my kids.  Especially my daughter who is one tough cookie.  This has been so hard on her.  They had a very special relationship.  Kelsey and I constantly fought over whether I was his mommy or his grandma.  The week before he died he was acting very strangely.  We all commented on it and wondered if he was getting sick.  He would follow us around and put his paws on our legs to be picked up.  He constantly wanted to be held and to be affectionate (normally his personality was crazy and totally ADD).  We all had noticed how loving he was being.  I am so grateful for this time that we had to give him extra love. I think it was God’s little gift to let us say goodbye.  I am so grateful for the many smiles he’s given me and the warm little body I had to sleep next too.  I will miss him.  But this will also teach me to be grateful for my children and loved ones.  I do not want to wait until they are gone to appreciate and value the voids they fill in my life.  I want to count the smiles each and every day and be thankful while they are still here to hold.

Awhile back I did a post on Circle journals.  What is a Circle Journal?  A circle journal is a mini album that is passed from one person to another.  When it is completed it goes back to the origninal person . . . thus creating a circle.  Usually they are based on a particular theme or question.  When the album is complete it is an amazing collection of inspiration from various people that you may or may not know depending on who the album has been passed to.  My desire was to create a huge on-line circle journal .  When I attempted this awhile back I didn’t get as many responses as I had hoped for so I am going to try again.   The question is: complete this sentence  “What I wish I knew then that I know now” .  I love hearing inspiring life lessons from others and I think it will be fun to post it so everyone can read it.  I’d love  it if you would download the template available by clicking on the post below.  Ad a picture, answer the question, and take a pic or scan it and send it back.  However, if that is too much work . . . PLEASE just send me a pic and answer the question and I will add it to the book.  The important thing is that I want EVERYONE to respond : )  Hopefully this all makes sense. If you have any questions please let me know.  Send the answers to Kristine@kmckaydesigns.com

*A winner will be randomly selected from all of the submissions.  The prize this week is a $50 package of amazing We R Memory Keeper products!!! The winner (and their blog if they have one) will also be featured on my site.

Last week’s question was: “What is your favorite craft blog?” Susan’s answer was Mish Mash http://michellewooderson.blogspot.com/ very cute!!!  Check it out. 

Hi, I’m Susan (Sus, Susie, susiestampalot) and I live in Fort Worth, Texas.  I’m married to my best friend of 12 years, Eric and we have 3 girls—Shelbie (17), Lindsie (9) and Audrie (6).  I’ve been a stay at home mommy for six years, but worked for Bank of America for 17 years before that.  I do work/play at my local scrapbook store on Saturdays, but I don’t like to call it work.  It’s really just for fun.
      I’m a proud blog owner (www.susiestampalot.blogspot.com)!  I started it up November 2006 on the advice of a friend before blogging was “the thing” and have been blogging ever since.  I love to write and share what I love about papercrafting and my crazy life—mostly stamping and cardmaking, although I scrapbook, sew, repurpose things and paint as well (I’ve been crafty all my life, and I just can’t pick just one to stick with!).  My blog always includes a “SUSIE Q-TIP” at the end where I share something I learned about making the particular card or project posted that day—what or what not to do.  Or I may just share a tip such as “Don’t eat yellow snow.”  You just never know what kind of wisdom I may impart! J
I found out about Kmckaydesigns through a friend of mine who is always on the lookout for cool home décor items that are fun to make and easy to come across.  When I first came to Kristine’s blog, I fell in love with the Barbie bracelet that her daughter, Kelsey had made.  I WANT one of those—so ME!  I love all the ideas, as I am so NOT the decorator.  I invited Kristine to come help me, but she’s not been available as of yet.  (wink!)

5 random facts about me:
1.   Hot dogs are my very favorite food in the whole wide world.
2.   I like the smell of skunks.
3.   I’m addicted to Clean House on TLC because I love Niecy Nash.
4.   I once tried out for Wheel of Fortune, but didn’t get called up on stage.  Their loss.
5.   I’m not bendy at all, but I do yoga.

Don’t forget to check out her site!
I had some really fun responses this week.  It’s only been the last month or so that I’ve started looking at blogs. To be honest, they intimidate me lol. There are sooooo many amazing talented women out there.  Because of this,  I decided to start featuring a blog every Thursday starting in March. I have some great ones lined up such as Shanty 2 Chic, Tater tots and Jell-O, Someday Crafts, and Funky Junk interiors just to name a few. If you have any suggestions please pass it along. If all goes well,this summer I will start featuring newbies as well. Sometimes the new blogs are the best because they are so fresh and exciting. So, if you’ve just started a new blog keep a look out for submissions this summer. Thanks guys. Don’t forget to answer This week’s question: see my blog post for Question of the Week #3.

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go” -Keith Urban.  I love this quote.  Finding balance has truly been my greatest challenge in this life.  It really is all about knowing what to hold on to and what to let go of.  I’m not very good at letting go.  I’ve never been into “New Year’s Resolutions” . . . I am kind of one of those goal oriented people that is constantly making resolutions throughout the year.  However, the past couple of years have been so chaotic and some of the most challenging in my life that I was ready to put 2009 behind me.  As I pondered what I wanted most in the next year, I realized that it was balance, simplicity and consistency.  I believe that the best way to achieve this is to take an inventory of my life and ask this simple question, “Is this something I want to hang onto or let go of”.  I love organizing.  I am an organizing freak.  Besides Micky D’s cheeseburgers I would have to say that organizing is my drug of choice.  I love finding ways around my home to make things more efficient.  However, when it comes to my personal life I’m not very good at letting go of things that are not beneficial, such as negative thoughts, toxic people, bad habits, etc. This year I am going to dedicate myself to simplifying everything around me and finding true peace and happiness in the small things and devoting my time to things that make my life more peaceful.  Ahhhhh peace! I would love to hear your thoughts or suggestions on ways that you find balance in your life.

I am officially launching my new site this week.  It took forever to get it up and running and even more time to work on importing  projects from my old site.  I finally decided that if I waited until it was perfect, it would never happen.  S0, here it is . . . imperfections and all.  I have several things in the works that I am excited about. 

Every Monday there will be a new project which I will be calling a “Quicki”.  Just a quick little project that you can work on each week.  As always I will continue doing larger projects every 2 weeks in conjunction with my Studio 5 appearances that will have complete instructions and pattern downloads.  I have some really cool segments coming up. 

On a more personal note.  I can’t believe that the kids are going back to school this week.  A part of me is kind of happy to get my routine back and it’s so much easier to work from home when the kids are in school.  However, after having Kelsey gone to girls camp for a week and then Tanner gone to scout camp for the week after . . . I miss them.  I wish we just had one more week to spend together.  I cried for both of my kids when they were gone.  I laugh when I tell my friends this because I never would have guessed, “I don’t even like kids that much” lol just kidding.  However, I am all about independence and I have taught my kids self reliance since they were born.  My kids have all been able to cook and clean and get themselves ready from the time they were very small.  I encourage them to be independent.  I think too many people fail because they are weak and looking for other people to solve their problems.  I want my kids to be strong and solve their own problems.  This experience, of having them gone, has taught me that I depend on them far too much.  I didn’t realize how empty my days were without them.  It is so nice to have them home and I think I will cherish them a little more.

I need no one to define me

I define myself

I support the definition

Others make for themselves

I hope to inspire others

As they form their personal definitions

I hope to see greatness in others

That will help define my own greatness

Yet, I need no one

to ultimately see the greatness in myself.

-Kristine McKay